Excerpts from the Omega Mart Leadership Ascension Track (LAT)

Meeting the self

• Make a human pyramid with your high school guidance counselor and middle school crush.

Renouncing the body

• Contribute 14% of your net worth to Drampcorp.
• Be nice to 77 dogs.

Understanding nature

• Learn to suck venom out of a snake bite.
• Befriend a snake.
• Interview a rock and ghost write its memoir.
• Spend a week in the desert, living off the land.

Harmonizing with the essence

• Buy two cakes. Decorate and dedicate one of the cakes to the other. Stack the cakes. Leave them both on a neighbor's doorstep in a ding-dong-ditch scenario.
• Swim to a whirlpool and dance within its rotating waves (hint: go with the flow).

Moving beyond

• Approach a stranger in a coffee shop, have them show you their laptop search history, find the second-most recent country they've searched and move there for 7 months.

Come to peace with the infinite

• Use an infinity mirror to get ready for a night on the town.

Manifesting the self

• Take a childhood photo to the top of a mountain. Bury the photo and create a new peak.
• One day a week, wake at dawn and meditate until sundown.