The “have to” narrative positions us as repositories of instructions made elsewhere, as if we were just programs following the code we’ve been given...

The “choose to” narrative has no illusions about our power and recognizes that we are small players in a bigger, and certainly unjust, world. But we are not machines. And maybe we don’t like the choices available to us, maybe we wish there were others within reach. But once we accept that there are choices to make, we may notice where we have some room to maneuver, some space to play with, some opportunity or avenue or loophole we can exploit.

Refusing your own agency time and again is like disconnecting from a power source—the energy is still there, latent and ready, but the plug dangles inches from the outlet.

...accepting that you have some agency might hurt: you bump up against the systems that constrain your choices; you see more clearly how other people’s choices limit (or expand) your own. But it keeps you connected to that source, that font of energy that is yours and no one else’s. It keeps you hooked up to who you are, and to what you want.

Interesting excerpts from Mandy Brown's "Haves and Choices" article to think about.